Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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