Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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