if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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