I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
