i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
