Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
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