What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
