How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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