i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
