the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
