I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
