I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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