what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
