You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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