i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize