Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize