Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
