If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
