For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
