It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think pants incapable of making pants work
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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