pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
They took my balls.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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