Tell her she can't have a vagina
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I need a beard to bite.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
