Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
