By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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