can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
