is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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