it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
