We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
