Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
