so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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