I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Vodka?
Forever.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize