i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so let's talk penis.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
