Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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