Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
