I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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