it hurts more in the daytime
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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