People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
