marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
this just has baby written all over it
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
