you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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