considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's shark week go big or go home
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
