My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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