I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize