I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize