The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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