I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
