Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
