If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
