If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
