I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
