Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
