so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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