respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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