remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
