So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
