i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
