I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
