I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
