There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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