If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
