I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
