I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
