I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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