Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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